Keeping that passion alive in your bedroom isn’t always easy. When you are with the same partner, even if it is a mutually fulfilling long term relationship, it becomes easy to make sex a habit instead of meaningful. The meaning behind each sexual encounter will be different; sometimes you both want to have fun, sometimes it needs to be more intimate, or possibly trying something new. It is always important to remember that sex and love is not the same thing. Even if your sex life is fizzling, you’ve hit a rocky patch, that doesn’t mean you love each other any less. In fact, it is that love you have for each other that will keep you together when other relationship factors get hard.
The rules you both set in your bedroom playtime need to be mutual as well. You cannot simply think your partner will know what is good and what is off limits if you don’t speak up. You won’t have enjoyable sex if it never what you want or need, and you stop wanting to be intimate. It is also important to know that what you and your partner want can and will change as you grow and change. These are why communication is key to a fulfilling sexual relationship. It will be very difficult to tell your partner you need more foreplay, or that you hate quickies, years down the road when your personal style of having sex is already set. It can lead to frustration and feeling a lack of trust and intimacy.
There is more than one type of sex. Some of your sexual encounters as a couple will be more meaningful than others. These relationship building moments will help you bond and feel closer to your partner, both physically and emotionally. Other times, you will have maintenance sex. These are the feel good, working off stress, bored and wanting fun to do, had a little much to drink and are feeling feisty times. While they may not offer the special emotional bonding, these encounters can still build your relationship. You and your partner can bond over having fun together, exploring new concepts and even exploring new things to do each other.
You don’t always have to wait for your partner to initiate. You need to feel comfortable and confident enough to approach him or her, ask for what you need and even climb on top if the situation would benefit. The flip side of that of course, when your partner comes to you, is to be open and willing to comfort or entertain. If your partner learns their needs are important to you, and show you that your needs are important to them, you will be able to work through any rough patches, grow together, and enjoy each other for a long and happy relationship.